sex and potatoes
timeswontchange:

This plate is the only thing which is allowed to tell me how to live my life..
  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring
  • 144,413 notes / Reblog

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

583,346 notes / Reblog

happyjared:

ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?

47,448 notes / Reblog

jinshuki:

Absolute brilliance.
frrostbytte:

This is literally one of the best pieces of writing I’ve ever come across in my life.
sirromdrawde:

wacky waco for saint laurent
note: grail worthy
harcules:

Adopt this attitude and your life will change, trust me.
hauntedmilk:

i am so fucking sick of ur deep as fuck shit night vale ur fucking me up
ⓒ mxrandakerr